Entirely Your Fault
by i am a firebird
Summary: Just a dialogue one-shot I wrote about what I picture to be a mostly canon Harry & Ginny. I mean, Ginny's Weasley temper plus the torture of childbirth and her slightly snarky husband-what could possibly go wrong? (Don't answer that.) RATED M FOR LANGUAGE!


**Entirely Your Fault**

. . .

_Just a dialogue one-shot I wrote about what I picture to be a mostly canon Harry & Ginny. I mean, Ginny's Weasley temper plus the torture of childbirth and her slightly snarky husband-what could possibly go wrong? (Don't answer that.)_

_Read it and tell me what you think!_

_love, firebird._

. . .

"Harry James _bloody_ Potter, this is _entirely YOUR fault!_ Let's celebrate your big win, you said! It'll be fun, you said! What could _possibly_ go _FUCKING wrong, _you said!"

"Love, I seem to remember you being a rather willing participant in that particular celebration."

"…Harry, if our son learns that damn Potter smirk…"

"I'd be more worried about the hair if I was you, Gin. Just imagine—Potter hair in Weasley red."

"Merlin, the horror. Our offspring have the distinct probability of being not only screwed up by our insanity, but also the combination of our genes making their heads look like they're on fire. Should've thought of that before you proposed, eh love?"

"Yes, dear. But you said yes, and again—willing participation. Extremely willing, I might add. "

"You really are far too smug…_Bloody buggering hell! _Shit, shit, shit, that _hurts!_"

"Really, Ginny, you do need to curb the cursing. We'll be parents soon, remember?"

"Well, it would be difficult to forget, considering that _our son is currently trying to claw his way out of my vagina!_"

"You're so vulgar, Gin. Really, you are."

"Harry, I've been under the Cruciatus Curse and I can confidently tell you that _this is just as bad_. Now, sit, shut up, and let me scream in your ear and crush all the bones in your hand like a good, nice, sympathetic husband."

"Well, you did say to distract you…_bugger!_ Merlin, Ginny, I didn't think you were actually going to break my hand. I think I'll be the one needing a Healer, not you."

"Don't curse."

"Hypocrite."

"Well, Harry dear, I must say you're certainly a Gryffindor. Insulting your wife while she's in labor certainly takes courage. And a certain amount of stupidity, but that's neither here nor there."

"Hello, Molly. Not to worry, I've already confiscated her wand. Once I've met my son, she can try to Bat-Bogey me all she wants."

"I'll hold you to that, Potter!"

"I said you can _try,_ not that you'll succeed. Sorry, love: Seeker _and_ Auror reflexes. And, you're a Potter too, remember? You really must stop using your own last name like a curse word."

"I hate you."

"Love you too, Ginevra darling…_Ow! Bloody ow!_ I'd like to have some fragments of my fingers left to mend after this, thanks!"

"Well, dears, I think I'll get out of the crossfire. You are quite amusing, but I'll just be in the waiting room. Call me in when you need me."

"Mum, how the bloody hell did you do this seven times?"

"Well, I must say your father did encounter more than his fair share of hexes. Quite therapeutic, really."

"_Ow! Ow! Shit, shit, SHIT!"_

"Don't rein yourself in, love. There may be Muggles on the other side of London that didn't hear you."

"Harry?"

"Yes, dear?"

"_Shut the fuck up_."

"Yes, dear."

. . .

_much screaming, cursing, and husband-abusing later:_

"C'mon, Gin, almost there! You're almost done!"

"One last push now Mrs. Potter—"

"_Waaaaaaaaaah!"_

"…congratulations, Mr. Potter—you have a son!"

"Hey there, little man…"

"Harry, stop staring into his eyes and at least let me hold our son. I would think I've earned the privilege, no? …Oh, Harry, he's absolutely perfect."

"That he is…those chubby cheeks and wrinkled little feet…and he has my hair, but I think that's your nose and your mouth…Ginny, we're actually parents."

"Brilliant, isn't it?…Oh, little one, I hope you know Mummy and Daddy are going to spoil you absolutely rotten."

"I just…I never thought I would actually have a family of my own."

"Well, now you do. Which is why I think we ought to name him James Sirius."

"…really?"

"Seems fitting."

"Thank you so, so much, Ginny—for humoring my stupid sentimentality and for giving birth to our soon-to-be-spoiled son."

"Funnily enough, I think it was all worth it. But, Harry, that doesn't mean I intend to do it again anytime soon."

"Yeah…I think one's enough for now."

"For now."

"Oh Merlin, he's so bloody perfect…oh, bloody _hell_. Er, Ginny?"

"Yeah?"

"…He's smirking already."

"Fuck."

"…well, we have named him after two of the most smug men Hogwarts has ever seen."

"We'd better break it gently to Professor McGonagall, then. She might have a heart attack."

"She has always said that the Marauders would kill her. And she claims not to believe in Divination! Self-fulfilling prophecy, Professor; self-fulfilling prophecy."

. . .


End file.
